Our boy Pepper is three years old now. He's so much calmer than when he was a puppy, but he's still a lab. That means that he still has an inborn need to run like a maniac and play hard each and every day. While we are at work or activities or wherever we go, Pepper is bored. Granted, labs sleep the better half of the day away, but when they are awake, they enjoy being active and engaged. For that reason, we made the decision to get another black lab, a sister for Pepper.
We originally contacted the breeder from whom we got Pepper. She has been in the breeding and showing business for more than twenty years, raising champions, winning dog show trophies, and truly committing herself to the betterment of the breed. We trust her and love her dogs. The thought of "raising" a puppy again, however, was not the attractive part of getting another dog. Potty training, crate training, leash training, obedience training, and so forth just doesn't have the appeal it once had. We thought about the alternative of getting an adult dog who needs a home, and then we loved the idea once we looked into it.
Our first thought was simply to take a dog who had been retired from the breeding program, but since none were available at the present time, we looked into the idea of a rescue dog, and are we glad we did.
We hooked up with a rescue site (http://www.petfinder.com/), and the coordinator of that area's lab program gave us some startling information. She said,
"I work from the southern end of the rescue. In my local pound, the dogs are only allowed two days to get out (adopted). If they are not out in two days, they are euthanized in a gas chamber by large amounts at a time. Last year in my city alone, 6200 dogs were euthanized. There were 4000 labs, adults and puppies, euthanized out of that number. It is heartbreaking to know that this is happening and I cannot save them all. (The dog we are interested in) was a lucky one. This is all due to the fact of people not spaying and neutering (their pets). So, I am very against breeding when we have labs dying daily, at least until we can get this population problem under control. When I have to go to the pound and know that I only have room for one or two dogs, it is so hard to walk those kennels and know that I am deciding their destiny, and the ones left behind are always bearing down on my mind. It is so not fair for these dogs, but they do suffer because the humans have failed them. I know that this is not the side that most people want to hear, but it is reality."
After learning that, we were certain that going the rescue lab route was the right choice.
Pepper is being neutered tomorrow. We didn't neuter him when he was younger because the lab expert and co-breeder of Pepper at our vet suggested that we wait. She said that if he wasn't behaving improperly, then why put him through the surgery? Also, because Pepper is really, really gorgeous, she thought we might want to look into breeding him at some point. While we, ourselves, didn't want to get into the breeding thing, we told her that she was welcome to take him for a week or whatever and use him if she wished to breed him. Once we learned all about the lab rescue world, though, we made an appointment to neuter Pepper immediately.
To help us to not feel guilty about our decision, the rescue coordinator said,
"We definitely suggest neutering. We do not adopt to families that do not spay and neuter their pets. It is a benefit to your pet, as well as assisting with the big picture. For male dogs, the biggest benefit is the prevention of prostate cancer. It also prevents unwanted behaviors and aggressiveness towards other male dogs. He might not show signs of this now, but it is likely this could be your future."
Our vet told us the same things, and also added that labs can get anal tumors later in life, and the "cure" for these is to neuter the dog. All things considered, we are certain we are making the right decision.
I'll keep you posted on the surgery and progress of our rescue lab situation. Thanks for reading!
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Monday, June 4, 2007
Good-bye, old friend
I grew up in a great neighborhood. It was your typical suburban subdivision: built around 1960; all the houses a variant of the same model; made for two parents, two kids, one car, and a swingset. Most of the original owners were about the same age, so the kids were, too. We went out in the morning with the rest of the kids, played in different yards during the day, and our moms never knew where we were until we came in when the street lights went on. We were all close. Our moms all stayed home, and our dads all went to work. If my friend didn't like what his mom was making for lunch, he'd call me to see what we were having, and then come join us, not needing an invitation. No one locked their doors or cars. The moms had coffee by the pool, and the kids had crabapple fights in the woods. In a silly sense, it was like Leave it to Beaver Land.
I was the youngest kid in the bunch, and I loved it. I'll tell you more about all of the LabNeighbors another time, but for this post, I just want to tell you about Kathryn Maltese.
Kathryn was a force to be reckoned with. When I accidentally put my fingernail in my best friend Buddy Maltese's eye while playing basketball, Kathryn ripped a hole in me I'll never forget. She did the same when I told Buddy about Santa Claus (I HAD to tell him that he'd been duped. He was my best friend, after all.). By the same token, when she was happy, the world around her was happy, too, because her spirit was so infectious. She was incredibly moral and ethical, but also definite, freely expounding upon why her beliefs were right. The outstanding detail about Kathryn, though, is how religious she was. Her belief in Jesus and Catholicism colored her very being, and it made her one heck of a person. I loved Kathryn. I looked up to her, I admired her, and I often thought that I wanted my spiritual feelings to be strong like Kathryn's. I knew that Kathryn really loved me, too, because when I stayed at the Maltese's house when my parents were out of town visiting relatives, I overheard Kathryn saying to my mother before she left, "Don't worry. If anything happens to you, I'll have her baptized before the week is out." Talk about love - she honestly cared about my soul that much! I was truly flattered.
Kathryn Maltese passed away last week. She was 83. I got to have coffee with Kathryn about two weeks before she passed, and it was a great visit. Buddy's brother Chip was there, and the three of us had fun reminiscing about the LabNeighborhood, and how lucky we all were to have been a part of something that special. You don't find that same kind of thing these days. The thing I'm happiest about is that instead of saying something nice at a funeral, I was able to say all of the things I wanted to say right to Kathryn's face. I wanted her to know how much I cared about her and really appreciated her. She was glad I'd taken the opportunity to do that, and Chip was happy, too. He understood that after-the-fact is, in a way, kind of pathetic.
One of my very favorite quotes ever is this:
"I shall pass this way but once. If, therefore, there is any kindness I can show or any good deed I can do, then let me do it now, for I will not pass this way again." I try to keep it in mind all the time, but Kathryn lived it. I will miss her a lot.
I was the youngest kid in the bunch, and I loved it. I'll tell you more about all of the LabNeighbors another time, but for this post, I just want to tell you about Kathryn Maltese.
Kathryn was a force to be reckoned with. When I accidentally put my fingernail in my best friend Buddy Maltese's eye while playing basketball, Kathryn ripped a hole in me I'll never forget. She did the same when I told Buddy about Santa Claus (I HAD to tell him that he'd been duped. He was my best friend, after all.). By the same token, when she was happy, the world around her was happy, too, because her spirit was so infectious. She was incredibly moral and ethical, but also definite, freely expounding upon why her beliefs were right. The outstanding detail about Kathryn, though, is how religious she was. Her belief in Jesus and Catholicism colored her very being, and it made her one heck of a person. I loved Kathryn. I looked up to her, I admired her, and I often thought that I wanted my spiritual feelings to be strong like Kathryn's. I knew that Kathryn really loved me, too, because when I stayed at the Maltese's house when my parents were out of town visiting relatives, I overheard Kathryn saying to my mother before she left, "Don't worry. If anything happens to you, I'll have her baptized before the week is out." Talk about love - she honestly cared about my soul that much! I was truly flattered.
Kathryn Maltese passed away last week. She was 83. I got to have coffee with Kathryn about two weeks before she passed, and it was a great visit. Buddy's brother Chip was there, and the three of us had fun reminiscing about the LabNeighborhood, and how lucky we all were to have been a part of something that special. You don't find that same kind of thing these days. The thing I'm happiest about is that instead of saying something nice at a funeral, I was able to say all of the things I wanted to say right to Kathryn's face. I wanted her to know how much I cared about her and really appreciated her. She was glad I'd taken the opportunity to do that, and Chip was happy, too. He understood that after-the-fact is, in a way, kind of pathetic.
One of my very favorite quotes ever is this:
"I shall pass this way but once. If, therefore, there is any kindness I can show or any good deed I can do, then let me do it now, for I will not pass this way again." I try to keep it in mind all the time, but Kathryn lived it. I will miss her a lot.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Loafin' Around
It's been a long time, blog friends, but for a good reason: we just celebrated FirstKid's bat mitzvah. The preparations and such took months and months of free time and energy, but I'm back.
So, what has Pepper been up to, you ask? Well, years from now, when people ask if my daughter remembers anything interesting about her bat mitzvah, I think she'll reply with this:
The bat mitzvah was scheduled for 11:00 Saturday morning. Because we needed to be at the hair salon at 7:00 a.m., we knew we wouldn't be able to do much in the morning, so we got our challah (the braided bread which is blessed at the end of the bat mitzvah service) on Friday, and put it in the kitchen with some other things that we would need at temple the next day. On Friday evening, we all went to Shabbat evening services, and got home at about 8:00 p.m. As we entered the kitchen, we found an empty plastic bag on the floor and a very guilty-looking Pepper hanging his head. He'd pulled down the challah from the counter and eaten the entire thing!
It only took a few seconds to go from furious to hysterical amusement, but it was a pain to have to send my dad out early in the morning to find another challah in time for the bat mitzvah service. We made it, though, and Pepper enjoyed the weekend.
So, what has Pepper been up to, you ask? Well, years from now, when people ask if my daughter remembers anything interesting about her bat mitzvah, I think she'll reply with this:
The bat mitzvah was scheduled for 11:00 Saturday morning. Because we needed to be at the hair salon at 7:00 a.m., we knew we wouldn't be able to do much in the morning, so we got our challah (the braided bread which is blessed at the end of the bat mitzvah service) on Friday, and put it in the kitchen with some other things that we would need at temple the next day. On Friday evening, we all went to Shabbat evening services, and got home at about 8:00 p.m. As we entered the kitchen, we found an empty plastic bag on the floor and a very guilty-looking Pepper hanging his head. He'd pulled down the challah from the counter and eaten the entire thing!
It only took a few seconds to go from furious to hysterical amusement, but it was a pain to have to send my dad out early in the morning to find another challah in time for the bat mitzvah service. We made it, though, and Pepper enjoyed the weekend.
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Everything Old is New Again
We've just finished the gift-giving portion of the holidays. Everyone seemed happy with their gifts, but I felt compelled to tell you about the three top hits. Despite the plethora of craft kits, play equipment, jewelry, books, and fun accessories, the hands-down favorites were the season 1 DVDs of Gilligan's Island, Wonder Woman, and Little House on the Prarie.
With FirstKid being twelve and SecondKid being nine, I would have expected their top five list to consist of That's So Raven, Hannah Montana, The Avatar, and so forth, but consistently over the past couple of years, they just love the old stuff. They watch Andy Griffith, Happy Days, Shirley Temple, Three's Company, Full House, and so forth. I have to say that as a parent, I am thrilled. These old shows were silly fluff, but they actually entertained you without offensive language or risque topics. We never have to worry about censoring those shows because they just never attempted to be inappropriate.
Now, Little House on the Prarie was a guaranteed hit because the kids had seen it before on cable. They've also read the books, and they just love it. Who wouldn't love Laura's do-good-but-have-fun attitude, or Michael Landon's sensitive tears? Who wouldn't love to hate Nelly Olsen and her mean mom? It also gave a little flavor for the American past. It's all good.
The Wonder Woman choice was inspired by the Halloween costume that SecondKid chose. She just loved the outfit and the idea of being a superhero. She didn't know the details of Wonder Woman's story. Now, however, she adores the show, the character, and the premise. She's learned a little about World War II, to boot. It's a classic good-guy-fights-bad-guy-and-wins-every-time story, and it's even better because the good guy in this is a very strong, very beautiful woman. Despite the plastic push-up bustiere, Wonder Woman is still a good role model.
Finally, Gilligan's Island is such a big hit in the house that it's all that they want to watch. Actually, LabDad adores it, as well, and remembers every episode, too. Yes, this show is kind of just pathetic goofiness with its slapstick humor and predictable story lines, but it is also G-rated. There is no profanity, no nudity, and nothing inappropriate. It's fun and upbeat, and even relies on classic tales for some stories (some Greek myths, etc.). I honestly believe that there is inherent value in something that just plain causes uncontrollable laughter in a child (or adult). Watching Gilligan's Island has become a family activity, and what could be better than laughing your head off with your kids?
I know there are plenty of DVDs out there that have much more value (educational, motivational, moral, etc.), but our three top gifts this year are choices I would make again and again for these rugrats of mine.
With FirstKid being twelve and SecondKid being nine, I would have expected their top five list to consist of That's So Raven, Hannah Montana, The Avatar, and so forth, but consistently over the past couple of years, they just love the old stuff. They watch Andy Griffith, Happy Days, Shirley Temple, Three's Company, Full House, and so forth. I have to say that as a parent, I am thrilled. These old shows were silly fluff, but they actually entertained you without offensive language or risque topics. We never have to worry about censoring those shows because they just never attempted to be inappropriate.
Now, Little House on the Prarie was a guaranteed hit because the kids had seen it before on cable. They've also read the books, and they just love it. Who wouldn't love Laura's do-good-but-have-fun attitude, or Michael Landon's sensitive tears? Who wouldn't love to hate Nelly Olsen and her mean mom? It also gave a little flavor for the American past. It's all good.
The Wonder Woman choice was inspired by the Halloween costume that SecondKid chose. She just loved the outfit and the idea of being a superhero. She didn't know the details of Wonder Woman's story. Now, however, she adores the show, the character, and the premise. She's learned a little about World War II, to boot. It's a classic good-guy-fights-bad-guy-and-wins-every-time story, and it's even better because the good guy in this is a very strong, very beautiful woman. Despite the plastic push-up bustiere, Wonder Woman is still a good role model.
Finally, Gilligan's Island is such a big hit in the house that it's all that they want to watch. Actually, LabDad adores it, as well, and remembers every episode, too. Yes, this show is kind of just pathetic goofiness with its slapstick humor and predictable story lines, but it is also G-rated. There is no profanity, no nudity, and nothing inappropriate. It's fun and upbeat, and even relies on classic tales for some stories (some Greek myths, etc.). I honestly believe that there is inherent value in something that just plain causes uncontrollable laughter in a child (or adult). Watching Gilligan's Island has become a family activity, and what could be better than laughing your head off with your kids?
I know there are plenty of DVDs out there that have much more value (educational, motivational, moral, etc.), but our three top gifts this year are choices I would make again and again for these rugrats of mine.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Top Five
I've been asked to share what my top five Christmas/holiday songs are. First, I have to tell you that we aren't Christian, so I've always kind of felt...guilty, maybe..for loving Christmas music; adjacent to, maybe, instead of part of, I guess, the holiday festivities. It's kind of a complicated thing, but just know that the bottom line is that I am in no position to review or pass judgement on Christmas music. However, I know what I like.
1. Jingle Bell Rock - I heard this song for the first time in fifth grade when my class did a winter play. We had to learn this song, among a handful of others, and I fell in love with the tune.
2. The Twelve Pains of Christmas - This spoof on the classic had me howling the first time I heard it as a late teen, and it's just about as funny still.
3. Auld Lang Syne - I freely admit that I like the Dan Fogelberg song, although it isn't actually the same song. Still, it's my list and I can like it if I want to.
4. Do You Hear What I Hear - see number 1; I fell in love with it in fifth grade.
5. a tie for the last slot: Put One Foot in Front of the Other from Santa Claus is Coming to Town, and I'm Mr. Heat Miser from The Year Without a Santa Claus - I'll bet I don't even have to explain the reference here, but just in case, these are two of the old claymation classics, and they are so awesome!
So, what about you?
1. Jingle Bell Rock - I heard this song for the first time in fifth grade when my class did a winter play. We had to learn this song, among a handful of others, and I fell in love with the tune.
2. The Twelve Pains of Christmas - This spoof on the classic had me howling the first time I heard it as a late teen, and it's just about as funny still.
3. Auld Lang Syne - I freely admit that I like the Dan Fogelberg song, although it isn't actually the same song. Still, it's my list and I can like it if I want to.
4. Do You Hear What I Hear - see number 1; I fell in love with it in fifth grade.
5. a tie for the last slot: Put One Foot in Front of the Other from Santa Claus is Coming to Town, and I'm Mr. Heat Miser from The Year Without a Santa Claus - I'll bet I don't even have to explain the reference here, but just in case, these are two of the old claymation classics, and they are so awesome!
So, what about you?
Sunday, December 3, 2006
So You Think Your Kid Can Dance
FirstKid is in a competitive dance troupe, and so far, she's loved every minute of it. In addition to the two and a half hours of regular technique class (ballet, jazz, tap, and pointe), she also goes to a one hour troupe class each week at which the current routine is taught and drilled. Competitions are held about five times per year, and this weekend was the first competition of this year.
I have to admit that the girls were simply out of their league at this event. While they certainly did their best and they looked good to me, they were far behind the other schools' teams in technical ability, polish, and creativity in choreography. Out of all of the schools of dance participating, they were the only school which got no awards at all. From my parental perspective, it makes no difference to me at all whether they win anything or not. The experience of competing and of learning how dance competitions and conventions work is valuable and exciting; the experience itself is the reward. Apparently, however, I am somewhat alone in my opinion.
The kids were understandably disappointed about their lack of awards, but the moms - oh, the moms. Out of the bunch of moms from our group, I was clearly the only one who didn't care about the awards. The rest were divided into two groups: the ones who complained about the teachers, the school, and the competition itself, and the ones who were wildly angry and ranted about the teachers, the school, and the competition itself. That latter group scared me.
Jane (no real names used) has two daughters who dance. Her older one, Sally, is a very talented ballet dancer who "outgrew" our studio, and moved on to a studio where ballet is taken very, very seriously. Her younger one, Molly, finally "outgrew" our current studio, but for her, it was all about the fact that she wasn't winning competitions with her group. She felt that she was capable of more, and may be correct, but more to the point is that she was not satisfied with the girls in the troupe. They didn't "want it" as much as she did. Whether their dancing reflected it or not, I think Molly would have been happier with them if they had been willing to rant and rave and carry on as much as she did. (Of note is that Molly, while technically doing everything right, is not innately graceful.) More significant to me was that Jane was so upset by every aspect of the weekend. The teachers were pathetic, the routines were pathetic, the school's owner was pathetic... You get the point, I'm sure. The first thing out of her mouth when the girls came out of the awards ceremony (empty-handed) was a comment about their loss, not anything about how well they had done, their effort, etc. Jane ignited a whole box of fireworks of comments and conversations, none of which were healthy or helpful. It really bothered me that she would likely be a role model to some of these girls. I didn't want them to think that it was all about winning, but none of the other moms seemed to mind Jane's behavior.
On the way home, I had a talk with FirstKid. I told her how proud I was of her - of her focus, her commitment, her teamwork, her stamina, and most of all, of her smile which lit up the stage. I was very serious, and FirstKid knew that, but she replied to me, "But Mom, we didn't win anything. We stunk!" I said, "Did you do your best? Did you give it your all? Could you have done anything differently?" She understood, and I was even more proud of her because she did understand. We talked a lot about the divas and drama queens, and FirstKid talked about the moms, too. She and I don't have those special mother/daughter moments as often as we used to, now that she's on the verge on teenager-hood, but this was one of those times. She told me how glad she was that I was the kind of mom who supported her all the time and showed my pride whether she won or lost. I know my kid can dance, but even better, I know she knows what's important. My work here is done.
I have to admit that the girls were simply out of their league at this event. While they certainly did their best and they looked good to me, they were far behind the other schools' teams in technical ability, polish, and creativity in choreography. Out of all of the schools of dance participating, they were the only school which got no awards at all. From my parental perspective, it makes no difference to me at all whether they win anything or not. The experience of competing and of learning how dance competitions and conventions work is valuable and exciting; the experience itself is the reward. Apparently, however, I am somewhat alone in my opinion.
The kids were understandably disappointed about their lack of awards, but the moms - oh, the moms. Out of the bunch of moms from our group, I was clearly the only one who didn't care about the awards. The rest were divided into two groups: the ones who complained about the teachers, the school, and the competition itself, and the ones who were wildly angry and ranted about the teachers, the school, and the competition itself. That latter group scared me.
Jane (no real names used) has two daughters who dance. Her older one, Sally, is a very talented ballet dancer who "outgrew" our studio, and moved on to a studio where ballet is taken very, very seriously. Her younger one, Molly, finally "outgrew" our current studio, but for her, it was all about the fact that she wasn't winning competitions with her group. She felt that she was capable of more, and may be correct, but more to the point is that she was not satisfied with the girls in the troupe. They didn't "want it" as much as she did. Whether their dancing reflected it or not, I think Molly would have been happier with them if they had been willing to rant and rave and carry on as much as she did. (Of note is that Molly, while technically doing everything right, is not innately graceful.) More significant to me was that Jane was so upset by every aspect of the weekend. The teachers were pathetic, the routines were pathetic, the school's owner was pathetic... You get the point, I'm sure. The first thing out of her mouth when the girls came out of the awards ceremony (empty-handed) was a comment about their loss, not anything about how well they had done, their effort, etc. Jane ignited a whole box of fireworks of comments and conversations, none of which were healthy or helpful. It really bothered me that she would likely be a role model to some of these girls. I didn't want them to think that it was all about winning, but none of the other moms seemed to mind Jane's behavior.
On the way home, I had a talk with FirstKid. I told her how proud I was of her - of her focus, her commitment, her teamwork, her stamina, and most of all, of her smile which lit up the stage. I was very serious, and FirstKid knew that, but she replied to me, "But Mom, we didn't win anything. We stunk!" I said, "Did you do your best? Did you give it your all? Could you have done anything differently?" She understood, and I was even more proud of her because she did understand. We talked a lot about the divas and drama queens, and FirstKid talked about the moms, too. She and I don't have those special mother/daughter moments as often as we used to, now that she's on the verge on teenager-hood, but this was one of those times. She told me how glad she was that I was the kind of mom who supported her all the time and showed my pride whether she won or lost. I know my kid can dance, but even better, I know she knows what's important. My work here is done.
Friday, November 24, 2006
Make-up!
Remember the Muppet Show and the guy yelling, "Make-up!" every week? I do. It was always funny in that context. In regard to my own tween, it's not exactly as funny.
FirstKid is twelve and in her second year of middle school. She is a foo-foo kind of kid to begin with, but also is, in some ways, in a hurry to grow up. She tells me she sees her school peers wearing tons of make-up every day to school, and she is correct. I've checked it out, and indeed, many girls her age are wearing make-up. However, just because all the other kids' moms let them wear make-up doesn't mean I'll let mine.
I freely admit that I'm old-fashioned. LabDad is, as well, so at least we have a united front at home. I don't swear, gamble, or drink. I don't care for tattoos or odd piercings. It's just how I am. Jackie O was my fashion icon - a black dress and a strand of pearls, and I'm done. That being said, I'd love to say that I'm all for self-expression and diversity, but really, I'm not as open-minded as I ought to be.
Interestingly, over the past few months, a strange thing has happened. When seventh grade hit, FirstKid was all about make-up, accessories, the "right" shirts and jeans. Then, as party and Bar Mitzvah season hit and she found herself invited to a whole lot of fancy affairs, she made sure that the upscale dresses and heels were perfect. She started the season with the usual begging, that she really wanted to wear it, she is old enough, all of other girls are wearing it, and so forth. I admit to giving in, just for the really fancy events, and FirstKid did go easy on the goods: mascara, eye liner, light shadow, and tinted lip gloss. Somehow, though, over the past month, the party make-up has all but disappeared, and the daily routine is just mascara (she has blonde eyelashes, so I sort of understand).
Just when you think you have it all figured out, the rules change.
FirstKid is twelve and in her second year of middle school. She is a foo-foo kind of kid to begin with, but also is, in some ways, in a hurry to grow up. She tells me she sees her school peers wearing tons of make-up every day to school, and she is correct. I've checked it out, and indeed, many girls her age are wearing make-up. However, just because all the other kids' moms let them wear make-up doesn't mean I'll let mine.
I freely admit that I'm old-fashioned. LabDad is, as well, so at least we have a united front at home. I don't swear, gamble, or drink. I don't care for tattoos or odd piercings. It's just how I am. Jackie O was my fashion icon - a black dress and a strand of pearls, and I'm done. That being said, I'd love to say that I'm all for self-expression and diversity, but really, I'm not as open-minded as I ought to be.
Interestingly, over the past few months, a strange thing has happened. When seventh grade hit, FirstKid was all about make-up, accessories, the "right" shirts and jeans. Then, as party and Bar Mitzvah season hit and she found herself invited to a whole lot of fancy affairs, she made sure that the upscale dresses and heels were perfect. She started the season with the usual begging, that she really wanted to wear it, she is old enough, all of other girls are wearing it, and so forth. I admit to giving in, just for the really fancy events, and FirstKid did go easy on the goods: mascara, eye liner, light shadow, and tinted lip gloss. Somehow, though, over the past month, the party make-up has all but disappeared, and the daily routine is just mascara (she has blonde eyelashes, so I sort of understand).
Just when you think you have it all figured out, the rules change.
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