Turducken

I have a good friend who recently made a point of worrying about her fascination with certain words, and her subsequent brief episodes of obsession with them. While I, too, find myself fascinated with certain words and/or hung up on them, I believe my own obsession is more with the word's meaning itself. To illustrate this point, I would have you consider "turducken."

The local supermarket advertised in its pre-Thanksgiving flyer that it would be selling turducken. What exactly is turducken, you ask, as did I? It is a "roast" comprised of pieces of turkey, duck, and chicken, along with nuts and assorted filler stuff. Apparently, it is a desirable item. Or so they lead us to believe.

I guess the first scary part was that, upon seeing the ad, my husband said, "Oh, I want to try that." At first, I thought he was joking. Then he went on to discuss how it sounded like a good choice for a family meal. I suppose that the idea should not have been so objectionable to me. After all, I like turkey, I like duck, and I like chicken. Why, then, was I so skeeved out by this turducken idea?

I do not like turducken, dear,
I do not like it there or here.
I do not like those pieces parts,
That look like squid and smell like farts.
I like my poultry with a face,
Having grown in farming space.
I like a dinner that was killed,
Not mashed together from what spilled.
Turducken is, then, not for me,
So take that roast and let me be!

I tried to be rational, and the one word that kept coming to mind was "Spam." Now, to be truthful, I have never actually eaten Spam. I have seen it up close, and I have been with people while they were eating it. I even occasionally eat ham myself, so it isn't the main ingredient that's a problem. The thing is, though, that I am totally and completely grossed out by Spam. It's an irrational opinion, yet it is real. Okay, so is Spam the reason that I find turducken to be so disgusting?

I don't have an answer, in theory, but by next weekend, I hope to have a report on the real life experience of having turducken in the house.